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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's is for Lovecraft

On the day I learned that the Royal Festival Hall is staging a musical version of The Mountains of Madness...

I am the very model of a cultist of the Tentacles
My basement's decorated with a sacrificial pentacle
I have the steady hand required for puncturing your ventricles
My existence is suspected by the crazy and eccentrical

I have intimate knowledge of conjunctions astronomical
I am a freakish catalogue of oddness anatomical
I chant the Necronomicon in eery and exotic crypts
And follow with a reading from the Pnakotic Manuscripts

And follow with a reading from the Pnakotic Manuscripts
And follow with a reading from the Pnakotic Manuscripts
And follow with a reading from the Pnakotic Manumanuscripts

I teach a freshman class at Miskatonic University
I'm practiced in eleven kinds of bestial perversity
In short, in matters eldritch, squamous, blasphemous, heretical
I am the very model of a cultist of the Tentacles

In short, in matters eldritch, squamous, blasphemous, heretical
He is the very model of a cultist of the Tentacles

I have unlikely relatives with luminescent pseudopods
I know my Elder Races from my Old Ones and my Outer Gods
I am considered eminent by oracles and hierophants
I've got the Yellow Sign embroidered on my favourite underpants

I lurk in sunken citadels of basalt and obsidian
With architecture that's distinctly weird and non-Euclidian
I've freezer-fulls of nosey-parkers pickled in preservatives
I buy the Daily Mail and I donate to the Conservatives

I buy the Daily Mail and I donate to the Conservatives
I buy the Daily Mail and I donate to the Conservatives
I buy the Daily Mail and I donate to the Conservaservatives

(With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan).

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